Take all your dreams, Take all that's left to see
Write it down, sign your name, go ahead and leave
There's nothing left to loose.
my hair wont stay wavy. not fun. so the high cascade is at 57 days! the anticipation build up which i am experiencing right now is beyond anything you can imagine. the fact of the matter is, im not exactly happy with my life right now. i dont know, most people who look at it probably thinks its pretty good. editor position as a freshman. practically straight As. no braces. lots of friends. not exactly ugly.
all good right? you'd think. but i cant help but feel like somethings missing. i hate the area i live in. my school is basically a bunch of preppy girls. most of the guys are douches. im super unhappy with my body. my reputation sucks.
my perfect life?
living right by a mountain. a school where tons of people snowboard. where people just dont give a shit and are pretty chill but have school spirit. teachers allow music in class and homework is a minimum. and the people who arent preppy arent total weirdos.
sorry. but thats the problem im facing. i know i shouldnt complain. but i fear i have to.
stereo skyline. we the kings. all time low. mayday parade. the secret handshake. nevershout never.
^^^^^amazing bands. (:
wow. yeah, global warming is definitely coming. thats why the temperature dropped 30 DEGREES! its freeezing. oh well.
Lita's best friends were murdered about a week ago. She's coming to spend three weeks with us. im pretty exctied. its going to be pretty wicked with her around, ya know? but im worried about her.
gawd. dude you have no idea how much i want to be snowboarding right now.
oh. by the ways. guys suck in relationships. theyre fun for hookups and friends, but other than that... theyre useless. oh except for snowboarding. anywho, yeah. im done.
peace out dude.
so ive been thinking that, maybe baby.
ive been going a little crazy lately, yeah whatcha gonna do.
4.27.2009
hey. so i havent really written on this in a while. but the fact of matter is, i find that a blog is meant for the purpose of expressing your emotions when you most need it. quite frankly, though, i am not in the need of emotion expression. i feel pretty much subtle. and peaceful.
i guess i could vent about ONE thing even though i dont really find any reason for yelling or venting anymore. and that is,
if someone is doing something, there really is no reason for questioning/making fun of them. all that leads to is fighting and anger and depression.
and one more step back from world peace.
so lets change the world. one step at a time.
tomorrow, do something nice for one person.
or if you feel like being sarcastic or mean...
hold it back.
just be nice to a couple people...
perform an act of random kindness...
you could never imagine how far it could go.
i guess i could vent about ONE thing even though i dont really find any reason for yelling or venting anymore. and that is,
if someone is doing something, there really is no reason for questioning/making fun of them. all that leads to is fighting and anger and depression.
and one more step back from world peace.
so lets change the world. one step at a time.
tomorrow, do something nice for one person.
or if you feel like being sarcastic or mean...
hold it back.
just be nice to a couple people...
perform an act of random kindness...
you could never imagine how far it could go.
4.22.2009
4.19.2009
tell me where our time went
and if it was time well spent
.paramore.
yes, another couplet of song lyrics have entered into my blog. (you can almost TASTE the cliche-ness; huh?)
so my little tidbit of lyric has a reason in this totally pointless blog.
it is that as the days roll by and the year is starting to end;
my parents have made it more and more apparent that if i dont recieve straight A's;;
i am undoubtedly SCREWED. reason? the one subject which is holding me back;; is
quite possibly the most subject EVER. and i fear that recieving one of those shiny; golden; ticket to paradise- A's is next to impossible. If my past three quarter grades add up to become a 91.35;;
if the school board grows some brains and common sense and change our grades....
then i will EASILY have straight A's. yay.
so i guess now its just a working-guessing-hoping-waiting game huh?
Everybody trying to get away from this town,
yeah they don’t wanna rest they think it’s the best
If we get the hell right out of this town we will never rest
you can rest when your dead
Run away determined to stay have the night to keep her hangovers at bay
I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
oh, I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
How many days do you live your life?
How many ways can I live mine?
.hitthelights.
oh. just a little DYK for ya'll...
HIGH CASCADE COUNTDOWN = 68 DAYS.
(:
bring on the good stuff. ;D
and if it was time well spent
.paramore.
yes, another couplet of song lyrics have entered into my blog. (you can almost TASTE the cliche-ness; huh?)
anyways. anywho. anyhow.
im on here typing up a blog at a mere 9:30 in the A.M. I have a strong feeling that most people in this world are sleeping;; but then again;; those people are missing out on some of the greatest things that happen in the morning. But to tell you the truth; on this morning there is nothing more than the sharpness of a parents voice and the bleakness of the sky crying out in depression for no reason. Ever felt like the weather is affected my your mood? Because this morning, when i woke up i was happy as can be. but now after i found out that one of my good friend's dad has cancer; the sky has turned a dismal dark and i fear that this is the beginning of another set of rollercoaster rides which, in turn, will lead me to spiral downward because of endless drama and fights. as much as i have that gut feeling eating me up inside;
i pray it isnt true.
so my little tidbit of lyric has a reason in this totally pointless blog.
it is that as the days roll by and the year is starting to end;
my parents have made it more and more apparent that if i dont recieve straight A's;;
i am undoubtedly SCREWED. reason? the one subject which is holding me back;; is
quite possibly the most subject EVER. and i fear that recieving one of those shiny; golden; ticket to paradise- A's is next to impossible. If my past three quarter grades add up to become a 91.35;;
how; may i ask; am i supposed to get good enough grades on fourth quarter and my final exam to make that grade climb the ladder a length 2.65 points?!
i do believe we need a miracle.
BUTBUTBUT;if the school board grows some brains and common sense and change our grades....
then i will EASILY have straight A's. yay.
so i guess now its just a working-guessing-hoping-waiting game huh?
now; for addressing the CRAZY time i call friday night. can you say drinking?!
gosh. and then theres the whole;; "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
and in fact; i wasnt thinking. but hey;; i might not rememeber much; but it was fun.
that is kind of what happens when high school freshmen are stuck in a place like
fairfax county
oh well. you only live once; so live it right.
.........am i right?
or am i just being anothe immature freshman who might be throwing away her whole future because shes too interesting in getting drunk to focus on getting A's and being an editor?
Everybody trying to get away from this town,
yeah they don’t wanna rest they think it’s the best
If we get the hell right out of this town we will never rest
you can rest when your dead
Run away determined to stay have the night to keep her hangovers at bay
I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
oh, I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
How many days do you live your life?
How many ways can I live mine?
.hitthelights.
oh. just a little DYK for ya'll...
HIGH CASCADE COUNTDOWN = 68 DAYS.
(:
bring on the good stuff. ;D
4.13.2009
church
–noun
1. a building for public Christian worship.
Yup. I am one of the many thousands who has ever attended one of these houses in which we bow our heads and pray to our Lord. our God. But there are so many individuals in this world who worship a different lord; or better yet; choose to not believe. Now I’m getting away from the fact of why I googled the vague yet specific word of church.
So have you ever been to a church? Or maybe any place in which you worship? If you have or even if you haven’t, I am sure you will understand what I am about to attempt to explain with my body and mind; aged fourteen short years.
At church; there is a priest. This priest usually preaches to the people;; mostly about advice and what not. Now how totally hypocritical would it be if that priest went one hundred and fifty percent against what he said? Pretty bad; huh? I have a funny feeling that church would be losing members faster than a naked guy, who just found his girlfriend’s father is home, can pull up his pants. (considering I am talking about church; I don’t think that was the best choice of words. But hey; we all make mistakes).
The point I am trying so hard to somehow mark on everyones mind who might have the disfortune of fixing their eyes on this deceitful blog is;
That if you are going to say something, stick to your word.
And that, my friend, is something I have not been able to accomplish. I pride myself on someone of peace who wants to think things through; talk things out; and avoid fighting at all costs. But what did I do today? I became a hypocritical priest and acted without thinking. I posted a blog completely trashing someone who was basically innocent. Even worse? I called him and texted him; calling him pathetic. What type of disgraceful; useless piece of skin and bones am I? I didn’t even give him a chance to speak his mind. and I didn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt and listen.
now how much of a peaceful hippie pacifist does that sound like?
Not much; huh? Yeah. I didn’t think so either. So here I am; writing everything that pops into my head as I run through the disfortunate events that I had the tragic inconvenience of starting by the simple act of not caring or listening.
Remember how I said I always started drama without understanding how I could end up causing the chain effect of outraged people starting rumor after rumor of hurtful words that would in turn account for the negative moods of students all through the hallways? well I just figured it out.
I haven’t been truthful to anything I preach to others. Scratch that. I have been truthful; but only to a select few things. Those including? Veganism. It’s a tough thing to do; but when you know that one of your best friends is there with you to talk about it; you find a way to cope.
cope
verb, coped, cop⋅ing.
1. to struggle or deal, esp. on fairly even terms or with some degree of success.
I fear that in this day and age; many high school students are learning to; or attempting to cope with the hurdles and obstacles that life is throwing out there. My current “cope”? Journalism. College. Because of a small achievement in a single academic elective; my parents have started to plan out my whole life. Its being p l a n n e d .
But where did my dream go? My dream ofpossibly skipping college; snowboarding through my young years; working a minimum wage job; getting good; and then proving to everyone that a girl, from a town where snowboarding isn’t exactly “the norm”, can become a major snowboarder. Yeah; I bet you haven’t heard that before. That’s because most people;; well not really anyone;; knew my real dream.
Reason? I mean hey; it sounds kind of stupid coming from an almost fifteen year old. It sounds even stupider when her writing skills could quite possibly land her a high paying job in the field of journalism or book writing.
Do you understand my cope now? Okay; so now whoever you may be; youre probably thinking…
“dude. JOURNALISM. Flaunt what you got; and you got writing.”
But haven’t you EVER had something that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Everytime you think about it too much you have to stop because its too much for you to handle. Knowing that something you’ve been looking for your whole life is so close.
Oh well; that’s what high school is about right? Finding yourself; understanding your dream. Figuring out what is do-able and what isn’t. And that; everybody; is my exact position;
my current
growing pains
and most importantly that is
a take on life from a not so secret teenager
–noun
1. a building for public Christian worship.
Yup. I am one of the many thousands who has ever attended one of these houses in which we bow our heads and pray to our Lord. our God. But there are so many individuals in this world who worship a different lord; or better yet; choose to not believe. Now I’m getting away from the fact of why I googled the vague yet specific word of church.
So have you ever been to a church? Or maybe any place in which you worship? If you have or even if you haven’t, I am sure you will understand what I am about to attempt to explain with my body and mind; aged fourteen short years.
At church; there is a priest. This priest usually preaches to the people;; mostly about advice and what not. Now how totally hypocritical would it be if that priest went one hundred and fifty percent against what he said? Pretty bad; huh? I have a funny feeling that church would be losing members faster than a naked guy, who just found his girlfriend’s father is home, can pull up his pants. (considering I am talking about church; I don’t think that was the best choice of words. But hey; we all make mistakes).
The point I am trying so hard to somehow mark on everyones mind who might have the disfortune of fixing their eyes on this deceitful blog is;
That if you are going to say something, stick to your word.
And that, my friend, is something I have not been able to accomplish. I pride myself on someone of peace who wants to think things through; talk things out; and avoid fighting at all costs. But what did I do today? I became a hypocritical priest and acted without thinking. I posted a blog completely trashing someone who was basically innocent. Even worse? I called him and texted him; calling him pathetic. What type of disgraceful; useless piece of skin and bones am I? I didn’t even give him a chance to speak his mind. and I didn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt and listen.
now how much of a peaceful hippie pacifist does that sound like?
Not much; huh? Yeah. I didn’t think so either. So here I am; writing everything that pops into my head as I run through the disfortunate events that I had the tragic inconvenience of starting by the simple act of not caring or listening.
Remember how I said I always started drama without understanding how I could end up causing the chain effect of outraged people starting rumor after rumor of hurtful words that would in turn account for the negative moods of students all through the hallways? well I just figured it out.
I haven’t been truthful to anything I preach to others. Scratch that. I have been truthful; but only to a select few things. Those including? Veganism. It’s a tough thing to do; but when you know that one of your best friends is there with you to talk about it; you find a way to cope.
cope
verb, coped, cop⋅ing.
1. to struggle or deal, esp. on fairly even terms or with some degree of success.
I fear that in this day and age; many high school students are learning to; or attempting to cope with the hurdles and obstacles that life is throwing out there. My current “cope”? Journalism. College. Because of a small achievement in a single academic elective; my parents have started to plan out my whole life. Its being p l a n n e d .
But where did my dream go? My dream of
Reason? I mean hey; it sounds kind of stupid coming from an almost fifteen year old. It sounds even stupider when her writing skills could quite possibly land her a high paying job in the field of journalism or book writing.
Do you understand my cope now? Okay; so now whoever you may be; youre probably thinking…
“dude. JOURNALISM. Flaunt what you got; and you got writing.”
But haven’t you EVER had something that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Everytime you think about it too much you have to stop because its too much for you to handle. Knowing that something you’ve been looking for your whole life is so close.
Oh well; that’s what high school is about right? Finding yourself; understanding your dream. Figuring out what is do-able and what isn’t. And that; everybody; is my exact position;
my current
growing pains
and most importantly that is
a take on life from a not so secret teenager
the single fact that i love writing on this blog so much is pretty pathetic; huh? oh well. so a little update. my life is climbing; like a roller coaster. and let me tell you, my heart is beating just a fast as if i was staring at the metal track before me holding the passangers existence by the sheer theory of magnetism and engineering.
but hey; why look on the dreary side of life when there is the totally bright and amazing side of life that makes you smile every minute and make you think. "hell yes. i love my life."
so now to the reason i decided to type a string of words that together make sense and form this crazy thing we call a blog.
anywho;
not to put a damper on anyones day. but personally; i think two specific people are quite possibly the most pathetic people whom i have ever come into contact with. they are COMPLETE jerks; perverts; creepers; any form of those words. yes; they are. and though many would love to be able topunch them in the face to start a chain effect of beatings upon; that is regretably not the right thing to do.
as you know; i am a pacifist. and thus i strongly believe in the refrainment of any sort of violence. but that doesnt change what they did to her. it was terrible; and it would put a smile on my face to know that they went to jail for what they did.
what, may you ask, did they do that was so treacherous? *chuckle* well youll just have to find out.; huh?
but hey; why look on the dreary side of life when there is the totally bright and amazing side of life that makes you smile every minute and make you think. "hell yes. i love my life."
so now to the reason i decided to type a string of words that together make sense and form this crazy thing we call a blog.
anywho;
not to put a damper on anyones day. but personally; i think two specific people are quite possibly the most pathetic people whom i have ever come into contact with. they are COMPLETE jerks; perverts; creepers; any form of those words. yes; they are. and though many would love to be able to
as you know; i am a pacifist. and thus i strongly believe in the refrainment of any sort of violence. but that doesnt change what they did to her. it was terrible; and it would put a smile on my face to know that they went to jail for what they did.
what, may you ask, did they do that was so treacherous? *chuckle* well youll just have to find out.; huh?
4.10.2009
its funny.
it funny how a day can be so utterly amazing when it is barely 8 in the morning. its funny how suddenly everything seems to be perfect again. its funny how one person can say a few words strung together by the sound of their voice and its tint of complimentary tone makes you feel like youre on top of the world and everything youve been working for has started to pay off. how everyone always doubted you but one single person made you believe again. its funny how a change of hair color and weather can put so much confidence back into ones lungs; though it probably never left there.
just a small tidbit to think about...
and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
.relientk.
just a small tidbit to think about...
and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
.relientk.
4.02.2009
I'm so sick of,watching while the minutes pass,as I go nowhere,and this is my reaction,to everything I fear,'cause I've been going crazy,I don't want to waste another minute here.
these words have been running through my head enough times to make anyone besides me. Yet to me they speak out in a way that makes me realize I am not as different as i believe myself to be. I am one of what. 6 billion people? There are so many of us in the world that you really have to do something spectacular to get noticed. a.k.a. changing the world. Which is what i plan to do in the near future. the question? how. How am i supposed to make a big enough impact with my existence that the world will refrain from the violence and war which exists in the world. the violence that people take part in daily. in too many ways to count. some; unwillingly. ever heard of Uganda? Child Soldiers? how about domestic abuse? How about just cruelty of a single person towards another induvidual. a single phrase can cause someone to breakdown and cry. what would you think if you realized that the person who caused this is you? I feel like this all the time. I cause drama and i do not understand how.
but enough with my ranting. back to the reason i decided to write on this dreary; bleak; start of a hopefully memorable spring break.
if you do not already know; ALL TIME LOW is my all time favorite band. And they have just pre-released a new song. Weightless. It is off their new album "Nothing Personal". I do believe it could be pure gold. The way that their songs are composed just tugs at your heart. I don't actually know why i am in love with them so much. but i am. i really dislike all that rap music. It annoys me. wait; rewind . It doesnt acutally straight-up annoy me. It just... i dont have words for it. For once I am a speechless blob. To tell you the truth; i have been speechless more than once in this past week. i am without the ability to put words to lip and speak them through this speech-impediment infested; accent occupied; fast talking; mouth.
well i am delighted that spring break is here. i have many plans to fulfill. what are those plans, you ask?
1. baking 15 loaves of bread for a science project
2. soccer practice.
3. sleepovers
4. intoxicants; hookahs; "night spots"
and well there is one more thing on my agenda.;; a bromidic; boring; dull; tedious activity in which i must take part...
HOMEWORK
lets face it. we must turn to the unpleasant suprise hiding behind door number 5. at least 3 hours of writing; typing; and studying.
In the end; though; it will all pay off. at the end of the year when i am riding that 4.0 GPA my parents will be tickled pink. on cloud nine. overjoyed. exubberated. to put it plainly; they will be happy. and whats better? I will recieve a bonus on my credit card when i FINALLY travel to the promised land of blissful; white; heaven. High Cascade. Yes; I am constantly talking about it. The one place I think about daily. The land of summer snowboarding. and only snowboarding. No treachurous; aggrivating skiiers. Now I am not saying that if you ski I would be happier if you jumped off a cliff. goodness no. I am just saying that if you ski; dont come with me. Skiiers on the slope annoy me beyond belief; they cant go straight down and they think they can be all bamf with their tricks in the park. No. not happening; the park is for snowboarders. got it? good.
One more thing I forgot about high cascade; guys. lots of hot guys. snowboarders are always totally chill guys that are in shape and have amazing hair. what more could i ask for? its like dreamland for me. que the winking face. on the topic of guys....
i need advice. what do you do when you like someone. but you cant. like theyre your friend and if they knew; your whole friendship would go down the drain? I dont know; and i dont want to know. Because my current solution to this problem is that i am going to forget i like him. after all; i dont really care. im trying to be more laid-back.
so just let it roll our time is fleeting so we take control
these words have been running through my head enough times to make anyone besides me. Yet to me they speak out in a way that makes me realize I am not as different as i believe myself to be. I am one of what. 6 billion people? There are so many of us in the world that you really have to do something spectacular to get noticed. a.k.a. changing the world. Which is what i plan to do in the near future. the question? how. How am i supposed to make a big enough impact with my existence that the world will refrain from the violence and war which exists in the world. the violence that people take part in daily. in too many ways to count. some; unwillingly. ever heard of Uganda? Child Soldiers? how about domestic abuse? How about just cruelty of a single person towards another induvidual. a single phrase can cause someone to breakdown and cry. what would you think if you realized that the person who caused this is you? I feel like this all the time. I cause drama and i do not understand how.
but enough with my ranting. back to the reason i decided to write on this dreary; bleak; start of a hopefully memorable spring break.
if you do not already know; ALL TIME LOW is my all time favorite band. And they have just pre-released a new song. Weightless. It is off their new album "Nothing Personal". I do believe it could be pure gold. The way that their songs are composed just tugs at your heart. I don't actually know why i am in love with them so much. but i am. i really dislike all that rap music. It annoys me. wait; rewind . It doesnt acutally straight-up annoy me. It just... i dont have words for it. For once I am a speechless blob. To tell you the truth; i have been speechless more than once in this past week. i am without the ability to put words to lip and speak them through this speech-impediment infested; accent occupied; fast talking; mouth.
well i am delighted that spring break is here. i have many plans to fulfill. what are those plans, you ask?
1. baking 15 loaves of bread for a science project
2. soccer practice.
3. sleepovers
4. intoxicants; hookahs; "night spots"
and well there is one more thing on my agenda.;; a bromidic; boring; dull; tedious activity in which i must take part...
lets face it. we must turn to the unpleasant suprise hiding behind door number 5. at least 3 hours of writing; typing; and studying.
In the end; though; it will all pay off. at the end of the year when i am riding that 4.0 GPA my parents will be tickled pink. on cloud nine. overjoyed. exubberated. to put it plainly; they will be happy. and whats better? I will recieve a bonus on my credit card when i FINALLY travel to the promised land of blissful; white; heaven. High Cascade. Yes; I am constantly talking about it. The one place I think about daily. The land of summer snowboarding. and only snowboarding. No treachurous; aggrivating skiiers. Now I am not saying that if you ski I would be happier if you jumped off a cliff. goodness no. I am just saying that if you ski; dont come with me. Skiiers on the slope annoy me beyond belief; they cant go straight down and they think they can be all bamf with their tricks in the park. No. not happening; the park is for snowboarders. got it? good.
One more thing I forgot about high cascade; guys. lots of hot guys. snowboarders are always totally chill guys that are in shape and have amazing hair. what more could i ask for? its like dreamland for me. que the winking face. on the topic of guys....
i need advice. what do you do when you like someone. but you cant. like theyre your friend and if they knew; your whole friendship would go down the drain? I dont know; and i dont want to know. Because my current solution to this problem is that i am going to forget i like him. after all; i dont really care. im trying to be more laid-back.
so just let it roll our time is fleeting so we take control
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