so you say you'd rather be known for WHAT you do, than WHO you do. well here's the thing:
1. you never HAD done anyone.
2. WHAT you've done is nothing to be proud of
and
3. you're just plain pathetic.
grow. up. and learn how not to use people.
11.04.2009
i know this sounds so cliche but have you ever listened to the old songs of your favorite bands? especailly the acoustic ones? gawd; it brings me to tears. thinking of the time when we were all so nieve. so innocent. no worries. and now a constant cloud of dramatic terror circles us and threatens to break us down without as second thought. no wonder the teenage suicide rate is on the rise. parents trying to conform us to some crazy mold of perfection as an effect of their messed up childhoods. selfish, dont you think? but they do try, really, they do. through all that anger and hatred there's a message: "don't fuck up. like i did. have a good childhood"
that never works though, does it? hence this endless circle of teenagers who drink, do drugs, and spend endless nights doing the prohibited. it's all part of life. we're all impatient and need to know. we have to. just a small experience of forgetting about all of your worries.
okay, now onto something a little more personal. for all of you reading.; which i suspect is a grand total of ZERO, i have a suprise. i'm about to reveal something very personal about me. it tears at me. you know that i'm a vegan. but the truth is, i hate it. do you know how hard it is to want to just eat whatever your heart desires but be limited to endless soy, tofu, and health food? not to mention vegetables and fruit. no brownies. cake. candy. it kills. beyond belief. and here's another confession.: i've tried to stop being vegan. i really have. it's sad, but true. but it's never last more than 10 minutes. i'll try to eat something non-vegan but then i'll feel like a terrible person. beyond terrible. i'll either make myself purge or my body will usually reject it. how DEPRESSING is that? just when you think you have strong beliefs about something: BAM. it switches on you. but that's not to say i dont think it's wrong. i still believe we shouldn't take anything from animals., but imagine someone was like "ohyeah, you know that candy? they killed babies to make it." you can't really accept it because you can't see it. it's like indirect, if you get what i'm getting at. if not, i totally understand. no one is reading this thing, anywho so why does it matter? it's no big.
Listen to these songs by All Time Low:
Remembering Sunday
Jasey Rae (acoustic)
Lullabies
Vegas
They are beautiful songs. i love Alex Gaskarth's music. His old songs, that is. it seems as if him and his band have been taken over by the mainstream. ohwell. another band bites the dust. soon to be a distant memorie. a "coulda woulda shoulda" and overrated assholes.
that never works though, does it? hence this endless circle of teenagers who drink, do drugs, and spend endless nights doing the prohibited. it's all part of life. we're all impatient and need to know. we have to. just a small experience of forgetting about all of your worries.
okay, now onto something a little more personal. for all of you reading.; which i suspect is a grand total of ZERO, i have a suprise. i'm about to reveal something very personal about me. it tears at me. you know that i'm a vegan. but the truth is, i hate it. do you know how hard it is to want to just eat whatever your heart desires but be limited to endless soy, tofu, and health food? not to mention vegetables and fruit. no brownies. cake. candy. it kills. beyond belief. and here's another confession.: i've tried to stop being vegan. i really have. it's sad, but true. but it's never last more than 10 minutes. i'll try to eat something non-vegan but then i'll feel like a terrible person. beyond terrible. i'll either make myself purge or my body will usually reject it. how DEPRESSING is that? just when you think you have strong beliefs about something: BAM. it switches on you. but that's not to say i dont think it's wrong. i still believe we shouldn't take anything from animals., but imagine someone was like "ohyeah, you know that candy? they killed babies to make it." you can't really accept it because you can't see it. it's like indirect, if you get what i'm getting at. if not, i totally understand. no one is reading this thing, anywho so why does it matter? it's no big.
Listen to these songs by All Time Low:
Remembering Sunday
Jasey Rae (acoustic)
Lullabies
Vegas
They are beautiful songs. i love Alex Gaskarth's music. His old songs, that is. it seems as if him and his band have been taken over by the mainstream. ohwell. another band bites the dust. soon to be a distant memorie. a "coulda woulda shoulda" and overrated assholes.
10.28.2009
what is it about owl city that makes me have an itching urge to write yet, another boring post in my insignificant blog? not that i have any music sense, but i think the lyrics written by Adam Young totally hit me dead on. like a deer caught in headlights. but then again, so do many musicians who, for the most part, are "low key." unfortunately Owl City has gone mainstream which in turn causes his music to become more and more cookie cutter, aka. pop.
"you made my frown turn upside down, and now my worries are gone"
hmm. i wonder who that's about. :) but i shouldn't bore you with my mushy-gushy details about how awesome he is, huh? yeah, probably. this letdown, if it even is one, will probably cause you to log off my blog and bring you back to reality; realizing how stupid you must be for deciding to read the blog of a regular teenage experiencing growing pains.
The Scene Aesthetic. <3 it is love. especially Love Through Postcards. Written by the amazing Andrew de Torres.
"I know you're tired and you're broken and that every day's the same
You say the whole worlds full of liars and your lack of trust's to blame
But if you ask me this one timeI swear I wouldnt let you down
I swear Ill do my best to keep you around"
^^that verse is beautiful. a work of true art.
anyways, i need to get away from talking about music. stop, Phoebe, stop.
phoebe...my name...of much confusion. i fear that a name of unusualness like mine comes with it's perks. and its...so to speak; downers. like the random nicknames, misspellings, and that all too famous "oh, i know a dog/cat/pet with your name". ohwell, i guess it's another thing that makes me stand out from the crowd? or maybe its different-ness isnt enough, thus pushing me even more to uniformity. it's too hard to say. though i fear it's the later.
oh, i almost forgot! the whole reason why i decided to log onto the computer, and open an internet explorer web page which virtually connected me to the whole wide world, is because of a project. for spanish. about "calacas". they are used in a four-day celebration-type holiday known as day of the dead. or the cult of death. but to your supposed fasination, it is not a scary or sad holiday. it's happy; a party of sorts. in the house there are altars decorated with icons and items portraying the relatives who have passed on. tiny skulls of pressed sugar are decorated with icing and colored foil and then given to friends as a sign of affection; a little like valentines day. families go to have picnics in cemetaries and dance all day and night. bands play and feasting takes place. isn't it amazing to not be worried about death? no mourning or anything. What an amazing way to live. no worries; just happiness. which is why it's nest to live life to the fullest., right? i think so. and i'm trying to, my hardest.
well back to reality, i was just "repremanded" for writing on a silly, little blog that means nothing. no one is reading this; i know. an online journal for everyone's eyes. no important. at all. there's things that come first which i should probably get back to. like drama. and my boyfriend. and friends. and homework. and the fact that i have an entire article to write about a vegetarian restaurant that has won multiple awards but virtually unknown by the students at my school. it was an accident i found it actually...but that's a story for another day. not that anyone's anticipating my next blog. or actually reading this.
well i guess that's my current growing pain, until next time.
peace. love. happiness. snowboarding.
"you made my frown turn upside down, and now my worries are gone"
hmm. i wonder who that's about. :) but i shouldn't bore you with my mushy-gushy details about how awesome he is, huh? yeah, probably. this letdown, if it even is one, will probably cause you to log off my blog and bring you back to reality; realizing how stupid you must be for deciding to read the blog of a regular teenage experiencing growing pains.
The Scene Aesthetic. <3 it is love. especially Love Through Postcards. Written by the amazing Andrew de Torres.
"I know you're tired and you're broken and that every day's the same
You say the whole worlds full of liars and your lack of trust's to blame
But if you ask me this one timeI swear I wouldnt let you down
I swear Ill do my best to keep you around"
^^that verse is beautiful. a work of true art.
anyways, i need to get away from talking about music. stop, Phoebe, stop.
phoebe...my name...of much confusion. i fear that a name of unusualness like mine comes with it's perks. and its...so to speak; downers. like the random nicknames, misspellings, and that all too famous "oh, i know a dog/cat/pet with your name". ohwell, i guess it's another thing that makes me stand out from the crowd? or maybe its different-ness isnt enough, thus pushing me even more to uniformity. it's too hard to say. though i fear it's the later.
oh, i almost forgot! the whole reason why i decided to log onto the computer, and open an internet explorer web page which virtually connected me to the whole wide world, is because of a project. for spanish. about "calacas". they are used in a four-day celebration-type holiday known as day of the dead. or the cult of death. but to your supposed fasination, it is not a scary or sad holiday. it's happy; a party of sorts. in the house there are altars decorated with icons and items portraying the relatives who have passed on. tiny skulls of pressed sugar are decorated with icing and colored foil and then given to friends as a sign of affection; a little like valentines day. families go to have picnics in cemetaries and dance all day and night. bands play and feasting takes place. isn't it amazing to not be worried about death? no mourning or anything. What an amazing way to live. no worries; just happiness. which is why it's nest to live life to the fullest., right? i think so. and i'm trying to, my hardest.
well back to reality, i was just "repremanded" for writing on a silly, little blog that means nothing. no one is reading this; i know. an online journal for everyone's eyes. no important. at all. there's things that come first which i should probably get back to. like drama. and my boyfriend. and friends. and homework. and the fact that i have an entire article to write about a vegetarian restaurant that has won multiple awards but virtually unknown by the students at my school. it was an accident i found it actually...but that's a story for another day. not that anyone's anticipating my next blog. or actually reading this.
well i guess that's my current growing pain, until next time.
peace. love. happiness. snowboarding.
10.15.2009
i fear it has been a long while since i have sat down to post about the insignificant cirle which i exist in. quite boring if anyone was to watch my life like a movie. but once in a while, like any great failure, there is a point where some truly hilarious/amazing/tragic/weird/crappy things are set into action and we realize the main character is having a "moment" or moments.
and these moments, my friend, are what i am here to share with you today. though in too many words so to speak as to not name drop. and off i go...
where shall i start? maybe with how the sophomore year of south county high school is not as enjoyable as i might have imagined. yes, it has it perks: youre not a freshman. boyfriend. friends. new friends. but then again it has it's extreme lows. downers. turnoffs?
--pause!--
Jasey Rae; by All Time Low, just came on. actually, i just put it on. and my god, this song is like my life story. or not. for someone who talks so incredibly much, i am at a lost for words. i have no idea how to explain the feeling i get when this song lulls me to sleep and seeps into my ears. a sort of deja vu that i am dying to live over and over and over again. sad, almost tragic. yet oddly happy. a sort of...oh, i dont know. reassurance persay. just a thought.
--unpause!--
so where were we? highschool? ah,yes. the turnoffs, countless, of being in sophomore year of highschool. first off, i hate chemistry. the mere mention of its name causes me to cringe in hatred. wait, i dont HATE it, i'm trying not to hate anything. except, of course, the unlikeable. but chemistry. the thing is, I'm sure it would be a far more enjoyable subject if it wasn't for the fact that my teacher fails to properly teach. i mean, she took more than two lessons to explain "sold-liquid-gas" to us. Then only 20 minutes for the impossibly challenging "specific heat" and equations. what's worse? she talks in a way that is quick but can not be understood. to tell you the truth, i have no idea how to study for my unit test tomorrow. i dont actually understand what's on the test! I do believe that is an indicator that something in this class has gone terribly, terribly bad. like sour milk. or violence. or me not snowboarding. or littering.
woah! i think i got a little bit off topic. back to the cons of being a tenth grader. so chemistry is a no-no. then there is the endless drama. and it's not just itty-bitty freshman drama. its intense. there's the permits, and sex, and boys. endless boys. and girls too. PSAT's. self-esteem. and the weird sensation that everything is so much easier to fail now. i am unevitably failing World History 2, why? because i haven't turned in a few homework assignments. I do find that to be a tad bit unfair. then again, i haven't been doing too well in the quiz side of life either. but that will change. i promise.
now onto other matters. boys, perhaps? as much as it is just a little weird to admit on a blog that no one reads, yet could be read by everyone, i have found a fantastic boy. so what if he's just a tad (try 9 months) younger than me? he doesn't look it. then again, i don't exactly look like a sophomore either. but yes, he's quite something. i won't bore you with the details at the moment. :)
anything else to bore us with? - this is what you're probably thinking right now. and the answer to this rude yet accurate question is: yes. i do.
snowboarding season is right around the corner. which means i've been running everyday and trying to do crunches and what not. my big goal this season is to compete in contests and try to get myself sponsored. if i can do that, then i can progress 10x more. my ultimate goal is to be getting flow before i graduate highschool. but that, my friend, is where the hard work comes in. i need a job. money. rides. new boots. new helmet. new board. and a lot of slope time. not to mention footagee.
but i guess that, for now, is my growing pain. and with that i bid you goodbye. until next time.
and these moments, my friend, are what i am here to share with you today. though in too many words so to speak as to not name drop. and off i go...
where shall i start? maybe with how the sophomore year of south county high school is not as enjoyable as i might have imagined. yes, it has it perks: youre not a freshman. boyfriend. friends. new friends. but then again it has it's extreme lows. downers. turnoffs?
--pause!--
Jasey Rae; by All Time Low, just came on. actually, i just put it on. and my god, this song is like my life story. or not. for someone who talks so incredibly much, i am at a lost for words. i have no idea how to explain the feeling i get when this song lulls me to sleep and seeps into my ears. a sort of deja vu that i am dying to live over and over and over again. sad, almost tragic. yet oddly happy. a sort of...oh, i dont know. reassurance persay. just a thought.
--unpause!--
so where were we? highschool? ah,yes. the turnoffs, countless, of being in sophomore year of highschool. first off, i hate chemistry. the mere mention of its name causes me to cringe in hatred. wait, i dont HATE it, i'm trying not to hate anything. except, of course, the unlikeable. but chemistry. the thing is, I'm sure it would be a far more enjoyable subject if it wasn't for the fact that my teacher fails to properly teach. i mean, she took more than two lessons to explain "sold-liquid-gas" to us. Then only 20 minutes for the impossibly challenging "specific heat" and equations. what's worse? she talks in a way that is quick but can not be understood. to tell you the truth, i have no idea how to study for my unit test tomorrow. i dont actually understand what's on the test! I do believe that is an indicator that something in this class has gone terribly, terribly bad. like sour milk. or violence. or me not snowboarding. or littering.
woah! i think i got a little bit off topic. back to the cons of being a tenth grader. so chemistry is a no-no. then there is the endless drama. and it's not just itty-bitty freshman drama. its intense. there's the permits, and sex, and boys. endless boys. and girls too. PSAT's. self-esteem. and the weird sensation that everything is so much easier to fail now. i am unevitably failing World History 2, why? because i haven't turned in a few homework assignments. I do find that to be a tad bit unfair. then again, i haven't been doing too well in the quiz side of life either. but that will change. i promise.
now onto other matters. boys, perhaps? as much as it is just a little weird to admit on a blog that no one reads, yet could be read by everyone, i have found a fantastic boy. so what if he's just a tad (try 9 months) younger than me? he doesn't look it. then again, i don't exactly look like a sophomore either. but yes, he's quite something. i won't bore you with the details at the moment. :)
anything else to bore us with? - this is what you're probably thinking right now. and the answer to this rude yet accurate question is: yes. i do.
snowboarding season is right around the corner. which means i've been running everyday and trying to do crunches and what not. my big goal this season is to compete in contests and try to get myself sponsored. if i can do that, then i can progress 10x more. my ultimate goal is to be getting flow before i graduate highschool. but that, my friend, is where the hard work comes in. i need a job. money. rides. new boots. new helmet. new board. and a lot of slope time. not to mention footagee.
but i guess that, for now, is my growing pain. and with that i bid you goodbye. until next time.
8.28.2009
so, remember a while ago when i said this blog was postponed? yeah, so much for that. im typing now. and im pissed. im upset. i swear, if i wasnt such a pacifist i wouldfucking try to commit suicide right now. like really? fml. life sucks. i suck, im a terrbile person. how could i have done this? like SERIOUSLY. HOW?!? fuck.,
8.08.2009
teengers have it tough. i should know; i am one. we release our emotions and stress in many different ways. i talk (or yell) it out. but i also type on this computer and release these concerns which build up inside my body like the lava inside of Mt.Hood. i, though, will not be waiting until i explode and have a meltdown of major proportions. besides typing on this insignificant blog which hardly anyone will ever read, i also write.
"so tell me what your best friend knows, that I dont know"
spit it out. i know, i guess what i am trying to come to conclusion with is the fact that i will be postponing this blog, as you might say. the occasional blog might still pop up and suprise anyone who is bored enough to sink their eyes into this unfortunate collection of letters and strokes, but until i feel the need to express through the act of typing and murdering my eyes by glueing them to the florescent screen of megapixels, goodbye.
and im sorry you were one of the unlucky who had to discover my current growing pain.
"so tell me what your best friend knows, that I dont know"
spit it out. i know, i guess what i am trying to come to conclusion with is the fact that i will be postponing this blog, as you might say. the occasional blog might still pop up and suprise anyone who is bored enough to sink their eyes into this unfortunate collection of letters and strokes, but until i feel the need to express through the act of typing and murdering my eyes by glueing them to the florescent screen of megapixels, goodbye.
and im sorry you were one of the unlucky who had to discover my current growing pain.
8.02.2009
Don't sweat it; it's over now; our time ran out.
drama.
noun
1. A prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.
2. A serious narrative work or program for television, radio, or the cinema.
3. Theatrical plays of a particular kind or period: Elizabethan drama.
4.The art or practice of writing or producing dramatic works.
5. A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect characteristic of a play: the drama of the prisoner's escape and recapture.
6. The quality or condition of being dramatic: a summit meeting full of drama.
Drama is a word which contains multiple meanings. But the specific meaning for which explains my current mood is one used largely within the teenage population. when a series of events causes many arguments, fallings outs, and stress. the exact thing which causes even more drama. so dont you think that if everyone just calmly talked things out, it would all be better? yes it would. but i fear that's not how it works, is it?
even worse? secrets. one of the main causes of this "drama" that i speak of in this exact blog post.
"secrets secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone"
i fear that is the case. but i also have found that sharing secrets is not the best thing to do at such a fragile age when a single secret can cause so many emotions to rush through us and built up like a race horse behind the gate right before the gun is sounded. and as shoot as that bullet shoots through the air and breaks the sound barrier...
the horses race out;; and hence the flood of emotions which usually result in crying for this fifteen year old. so how do you release these feelings in a steady flow as if to decrease the risk of a spill and flood of straight tears? talking.
the exact thing which has caused this entire post. do you see the cycle and problem with the teenage life? i hope you do. because living through this is like hell. and when you lose the person who you can talk to about anything... well the weight of the world feels a whole lot heavier., and that gate is just that little bit harder to hold closed.
drama.
noun
1. A prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.
2. A serious narrative work or program for television, radio, or the cinema.
3. Theatrical plays of a particular kind or period: Elizabethan drama.
4.The art or practice of writing or producing dramatic works.
5. A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect characteristic of a play: the drama of the prisoner's escape and recapture.
6. The quality or condition of being dramatic: a summit meeting full of drama.
Drama is a word which contains multiple meanings. But the specific meaning for which explains my current mood is one used largely within the teenage population. when a series of events causes many arguments, fallings outs, and stress. the exact thing which causes even more drama. so dont you think that if everyone just calmly talked things out, it would all be better? yes it would. but i fear that's not how it works, is it?
even worse? secrets. one of the main causes of this "drama" that i speak of in this exact blog post.
"secrets secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone"
i fear that is the case. but i also have found that sharing secrets is not the best thing to do at such a fragile age when a single secret can cause so many emotions to rush through us and built up like a race horse behind the gate right before the gun is sounded. and as shoot as that bullet shoots through the air and breaks the sound barrier...
the horses race out;; and hence the flood of emotions which usually result in crying for this fifteen year old. so how do you release these feelings in a steady flow as if to decrease the risk of a spill and flood of straight tears? talking.
the exact thing which has caused this entire post. do you see the cycle and problem with the teenage life? i hope you do. because living through this is like hell. and when you lose the person who you can talk to about anything... well the weight of the world feels a whole lot heavier., and that gate is just that little bit harder to hold closed.
8.01.2009
"Well the sunset better set soon;; so we can get in the mood. Things start getting heated up ;; when it starts getting c o o l yeah"
I have returned from the humid sunshine state which, at the moment, is not living up to it's name. A constant stir of storms surrounded me and thus left me with no time to tan. Just a lot of rain and clouds.
But as I said, I'm back in the place where I couldn't feel more at home. I wonder why? But as I sit here typing my very thoughts, I can't help but feel antsy about the rest of the summer. One month left, and how many days have I been here? A total of 4? On my terms, that is out of the question. unreasonable. ridiculous.
The only solution? Make sure that the rest of this vacation that students beg for from the first day of school makes me remember the summer of 2009. wish me luck.
"Summer nights everybody are you with me? Let that igloo cooler mark your piece of paradise.
s u m m e r n i g h t s ;; everybody's feeling sexy, holler if you're ready for some summer nights"
I have returned from the humid sunshine state which, at the moment, is not living up to it's name. A constant stir of storms surrounded me and thus left me with no time to tan. Just a lot of rain and clouds.
But as I said, I'm back in the place where I couldn't feel more at home. I wonder why? But as I sit here typing my very thoughts, I can't help but feel antsy about the rest of the summer. One month left, and how many days have I been here? A total of 4? On my terms, that is out of the question. unreasonable. ridiculous.
The only solution? Make sure that the rest of this vacation that students beg for from the first day of school makes me remember the summer of 2009. wish me luck.
"Summer nights everybody are you with me? Let that igloo cooler mark your piece of paradise.
s u m m e r n i g h t s ;; everybody's feeling sexy, holler if you're ready for some summer nights"
7.22.2009
We're all part of the same sick little games && I need to get away g e t a w a y.
I'm wasting the days;; I throw them away. Losing it all on these sick. little. games.
My parents are smuthering me - like a pillow to the face - and I don't think I can get up for air. The simple task of not listening. Just utter anger; constant yelling and screaming. For what? Not the highest GPA possible? For doing something different? For TRYING to have a life?
Two days of the whole three month summer is what I have been allowed to use to hangout with my friends. Are adults not the ones who came up with "time flys" ?!
I do believe they did. So how can a miniscule time of two days -- fourty eight hours -- make up for all the lost time. lost secrets. lost memories. which must be restored into the young minds of us youthful teens.
and then the all too cliché saying comes up and smacks us in the face like a hand with no kindness or pity.
"just this once"
so simple -- yet so complex -- all at the same time. how can this be, you ask? Well, I fear I am with you as I do not know the answer. You try to explain yourself;; but their cold, angry, sharp voice has you refraining from saying anything further. You continue to just stand there in awshock as they bring up "instances" from years ago and unrelated topics. Once their tone and overall aura has swamped you., you leave for your room.
But oh no, it doesn't end there, does it? No. After, you will be punished for beign rude and disrespectful for standign there and not saying anything. Oh, and you see that sock on the ground missy? Yeah. You're in trouble for that. Now this room better be fucking spotless in five minutes.
And a door slams shut. What am I, wonder woman? Speedy Sue? No, I dont think so.
For all of you who have been through this exact same thing -- or some variation of it --, you understand and can call what happens next. play by play. You change into your pajamas, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. You climb in, lock your door, and listen to the noise of fighting. Who HASN'T been there?
What happens the next morning suprises me the most though. When you get in contact with your parents (a.k.a. when they get home) you leave the room or stick it out; you wait for most accusations to take place....
but no. oh no. instead they just smile and act happy.
who knows. well that's my latest growing pain. until next time.
I'm wasting the days;; I throw them away. Losing it all on these sick. little. games.
My parents are smuthering me - like a pillow to the face - and I don't think I can get up for air. The simple task of not listening. Just utter anger; constant yelling and screaming. For what? Not the highest GPA possible? For doing something different? For TRYING to have a life?
Two days of the whole three month summer is what I have been allowed to use to hangout with my friends. Are adults not the ones who came up with "time flys" ?!
I do believe they did. So how can a miniscule time of two days -- fourty eight hours -- make up for all the lost time. lost secrets. lost memories. which must be restored into the young minds of us youthful teens.
and then the all too cliché saying comes up and smacks us in the face like a hand with no kindness or pity.
"just this once"
so simple -- yet so complex -- all at the same time. how can this be, you ask? Well, I fear I am with you as I do not know the answer. You try to explain yourself;; but their cold, angry, sharp voice has you refraining from saying anything further. You continue to just stand there in awshock as they bring up "instances" from years ago and unrelated topics. Once their tone and overall aura has swamped you., you leave for your room.
But oh no, it doesn't end there, does it? No. After, you will be punished for beign rude and disrespectful for standign there and not saying anything. Oh, and you see that sock on the ground missy? Yeah. You're in trouble for that. Now this room better be fucking spotless in five minutes.
And a door slams shut. What am I, wonder woman? Speedy Sue? No, I dont think so.
For all of you who have been through this exact same thing -- or some variation of it --, you understand and can call what happens next. play by play. You change into your pajamas, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. You climb in, lock your door, and listen to the noise of fighting. Who HASN'T been there?
What happens the next morning suprises me the most though. When you get in contact with your parents (a.k.a. when they get home) you leave the room or stick it out; you wait for most accusations to take place....
but no. oh no. instead they just smile and act happy.
who knows. well that's my latest growing pain. until next time.
7.20.2009
The date of my last post was exactly one month ago. Of course, this means that i have to write another. But I'm going to try to update more recently. Not like anyone really wants to read this thing anyways.
But how shall I start this collection of nouns and verbs ...an update perhaps?
When I last left this blog, I was packing to leave for the place that I couldn't go more than eight hours without thinking about. How was it, you may be wondering. Well words can't even begin to cover it. Especially the view from the mountain. The vision which you saw when you gazed out past the white, slushy snow, the metal and plastic rails, the inviting jumps and the groups of snowboarders who have all come here for a common cause, was breath-taking in every way. After nine days, I still wasn't used to it.
Then I started on my next adventure of the annual trip to my "homeland" or at least one of them. --pause--
How can anyone say that they are of one nationality or another? Everyone's parents have come from some place or another. None of us originiated in the country we currently reside in. Unless of couse, you're whole family live in Africa and have never moved from there.
Speaking of, a family like that is the Samburu Tribe. Are you aware of what they go through everyday? The women walk around twelve long, hot, straining miles everyday with buckets to try to find water, clean or not, to bring back for their children. Most days, though, result with nothing. How would you like it if that's how you lived? Does it open up your eyes to the massive fortune that we are in? We take so much for granted and this one tribe should help put everything in perspective.
Now if you are one of those people who have just had their heart tugged at, then fear not. You can help. I have, and it's quite simple.
If you notice on the left hand side of my page, there is a section that says;; "help save the world";;
under, is a few links. Click on the one that says, "The Samburu Project". It will take you straight to the page that is dedicated to helping these poor women who suffer risks in health, family, and education, if they dont find fresh water.
What are they fantastic people doing, you ask? They build wells for them so that they can collect fresh water without walking 12 miles and risking the health of the women.
What did I do? Surely, a girl of my age and location couldn't have done anything. Well that's not exactly true. I've donated in my own way by buying to teeshirts from them which goes to the cause.
If you're like me, and you want to help change the world, take small steps first. It's not as hard as you think. trust me.
But how shall I start this collection of nouns and verbs ...an update perhaps?
When I last left this blog, I was packing to leave for the place that I couldn't go more than eight hours without thinking about. How was it, you may be wondering. Well words can't even begin to cover it. Especially the view from the mountain. The vision which you saw when you gazed out past the white, slushy snow, the metal and plastic rails, the inviting jumps and the groups of snowboarders who have all come here for a common cause, was breath-taking in every way. After nine days, I still wasn't used to it.
Then I started on my next adventure of the annual trip to my "homeland" or at least one of them. --pause--
How can anyone say that they are of one nationality or another? Everyone's parents have come from some place or another. None of us originiated in the country we currently reside in. Unless of couse, you're whole family live in Africa and have never moved from there.
Speaking of, a family like that is the Samburu Tribe. Are you aware of what they go through everyday? The women walk around twelve long, hot, straining miles everyday with buckets to try to find water, clean or not, to bring back for their children. Most days, though, result with nothing. How would you like it if that's how you lived? Does it open up your eyes to the massive fortune that we are in? We take so much for granted and this one tribe should help put everything in perspective.
Now if you are one of those people who have just had their heart tugged at, then fear not. You can help. I have, and it's quite simple.
If you notice on the left hand side of my page, there is a section that says;; "help save the world";;
under, is a few links. Click on the one that says, "The Samburu Project". It will take you straight to the page that is dedicated to helping these poor women who suffer risks in health, family, and education, if they dont find fresh water.
What are they fantastic people doing, you ask? They build wells for them so that they can collect fresh water without walking 12 miles and risking the health of the women.
What did I do? Surely, a girl of my age and location couldn't have done anything. Well that's not exactly true. I've donated in my own way by buying to teeshirts from them which goes to the cause.
If you're like me, and you want to help change the world, take small steps first. It's not as hard as you think. trust me.
6.20.2009
PEACE
–noun
1. the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.
2. (often initial capital letter) an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism: the Peace of Ryswick.
3. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations: Try to live in peace with your neighbors.
4. the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security: He was arrested for being drunk and disturbing the peace.
5. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.
6. freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.
7. a state of tranquillity or serenity: May he rest in peace.
8. a state or condition conducive to, proceeding from, or characterized by tranquillity: the peace of a mountain resort.
9. silence; stillness: The cawing of a crow broke the afternoon's peace.
how do you view peace?
–noun
1. the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.
2. (often initial capital letter) an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism: the Peace of Ryswick.
3. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations: Try to live in peace with your neighbors.
4. the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security: He was arrested for being drunk and disturbing the peace.
5. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.
6. freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.
7. a state of tranquillity or serenity: May he rest in peace.
8. a state or condition conducive to, proceeding from, or characterized by tranquillity: the peace of a mountain resort.
9. silence; stillness: The cawing of a crow broke the afternoon's peace.
how do you view peace?
6.18.2009
how do i start? ive become so irregular with my blog of unepic proportions.
have you even noticed how a single song; or chord; or beat; can put you in such an entirely different mood. and no matter how hard you fight the oncoming wave of emotional hormones, in a matter of seconds it will engulf you. which is how i ended up here writing -- excuse me, typing-- on this not-so-interesting blog.
reverse psychology. ever had a good long think about that nugget? that word that just is a total topic of mystery in itself. and even better; it totally works. i always talk about how un interesting and boring my blog must be to others...
[which is totally true]
but then, *woo hoo* reverse psychology and people just so happen to read my blog.
do you know how many people have told they've read my blog? alot. kinda is embarressing; yaknow? people reading into my life. finding out what's is running through my head at the very second i type the words which form and i can see right before my very eyes.
"You say the whole worlds full of liars and your lack of trust's to blame"
this quote from a brand new song [from the beatiful song writer named Andrew de Torres] totally explains me. i do believe so many people lie. but then why do i tell everyone everything? because i dont want to be "outta the loop" ? who knows. but should someone who is trying so hard to spread peace&&love&&veganism really believe that everyone lies? how un loving is that?! very unloving.
But on the subject on peace and love;; please check out the websites rightt...
<------------ THERE! they say stuff like "toms shoes" and "FREE RICE" participating in them helps out less fortunate people. which in turn helps save the world. i know most people hate going out of their way to be kind and loving, but you'd be suprised by how far a random act of kindness can go.
thanks so much you guys. :)
have you even noticed how a single song; or chord; or beat; can put you in such an entirely different mood. and no matter how hard you fight the oncoming wave of emotional hormones, in a matter of seconds it will engulf you. which is how i ended up here writing -- excuse me, typing-- on this not-so-interesting blog.
reverse psychology. ever had a good long think about that nugget? that word that just is a total topic of mystery in itself. and even better; it totally works. i always talk about how un interesting and boring my blog must be to others...
[which is totally true]
but then, *woo hoo* reverse psychology and people just so happen to read my blog.
do you know how many people have told they've read my blog? alot. kinda is embarressing; yaknow? people reading into my life. finding out what's is running through my head at the very second i type the words which form and i can see right before my very eyes.
"You say the whole worlds full of liars and your lack of trust's to blame"
this quote from a brand new song [from the beatiful song writer named Andrew de Torres] totally explains me. i do believe so many people lie. but then why do i tell everyone everything? because i dont want to be "outta the loop" ? who knows. but should someone who is trying so hard to spread peace&&love&&veganism really believe that everyone lies? how un loving is that?! very unloving.
But on the subject on peace and love;; please check out the websites rightt...
<------------ THERE! they say stuff like "toms shoes" and "FREE RICE" participating in them helps out less fortunate people. which in turn helps save the world. i know most people hate going out of their way to be kind and loving, but you'd be suprised by how far a random act of kindness can go.
thanks so much you guys. :)
6.13.2009
so its been a while, i fear,
and since that time ive shed
many a tear
but enough for the pity stuff. time to get down to buisness. A few weeks ago, i made a mistake of giant proportions. and for that i must deeply apologize. I was caught up in a water fight and i threw a water bottle. I gave up names, like a snitch, and got many people in trouble. what kind of person does that? not someone that wants to live to see Oregon;; i can tell you that much. my consequence? one day of suspension, a summer without friends or a phone, and eight hours of community service.
yesterday i started my sentence of eight long tedious hours of manual labor working with random custodians who couldnt care less about what i did or why i was there, right? wrong. In fact, i was with a wonderful lady by the name of Ana. She told me all about her life. She goes to school in the morning and works all afternoon and evening. she has a daughter of 6 years old. she moved here from el salvador eleven years ago.
it opened up my eyes to how good we have it. or how good i have it at least. i dont have to work... except for as a punishment. i have a car waiting for me. im going to go snowboarding in the SUMMER in OREGON for pete's sake. so i must have looked like a spoiled brat to the custodians. this little fifteen year old standing at 5foot2andahalf;; who can barely mop the cafeteria because the mop is so heavy and the girl has never mopped before.
i have no idea where i was going with this...but im done. i just wanted to put that all out there.
and the fact that i am more than lucky for this chance to go to the white blissful heaven known as High Cascade. :)
peaceout.
and since that time ive shed
many a tear
but enough for the pity stuff. time to get down to buisness. A few weeks ago, i made a mistake of giant proportions. and for that i must deeply apologize. I was caught up in a water fight and i threw a water bottle. I gave up names, like a snitch, and got many people in trouble. what kind of person does that? not someone that wants to live to see Oregon;; i can tell you that much. my consequence? one day of suspension, a summer without friends or a phone, and eight hours of community service.
yesterday i started my sentence of eight long tedious hours of manual labor working with random custodians who couldnt care less about what i did or why i was there, right? wrong. In fact, i was with a wonderful lady by the name of Ana. She told me all about her life. She goes to school in the morning and works all afternoon and evening. she has a daughter of 6 years old. she moved here from el salvador eleven years ago.
it opened up my eyes to how good we have it. or how good i have it at least. i dont have to work... except for as a punishment. i have a car waiting for me. im going to go snowboarding in the SUMMER in OREGON for pete's sake. so i must have looked like a spoiled brat to the custodians. this little fifteen year old standing at 5foot2andahalf;; who can barely mop the cafeteria because the mop is so heavy and the girl has never mopped before.
i have no idea where i was going with this...but im done. i just wanted to put that all out there.
and the fact that i am more than lucky for this chance to go to the white blissful heaven known as High Cascade. :)
peaceout.
6.03.2009
CHANGE
verb-
to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
is change always for the worst?
"i liked the old phoebe better".
WHATTHEF&*%?!. i have not changed for the worst. no one dare say that to me. so what if im a little rough on the outside? one bad night. and suddenly bam.
but guess what bud? i havent drank for a while. im striaght.
dont you DARE say ive changed for the worst until youve LEGITLY
hung out with me.
get it. got it. GOOD.
verb-
to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
is change always for the worst?
"i liked the old phoebe better".
WHATTHEF&*%?!. i have not changed for the worst. no one dare say that to me. so what if im a little rough on the outside? one bad night. and suddenly bam.
but guess what bud? i havent drank for a while. im striaght.
dont you DARE say ive changed for the worst until youve LEGITLY
hung out with me.
get it. got it. GOOD.
5.24.2009
self-conscious
–adjective
1. excessively aware of being observed by others.
2. conscious of oneself or one's own being.
One word. Three syllables. 15 letters. self conscious may seem insignificant to most people; but to a large population of the high school beings (especially girls) it describes the norm.
synonyms for this strong yet sophisticated piece of the english language?
affected; anxious; artificial; awkward; bashful; uncomfortable; nervous; embaressed.
thats not even half of the words. now look at the synonyms;; does that really describe the girls and guys that we encounter each day as we venture into the unknown and tackle daily obstacles at the jungle currently known as South County High School? I didn't think so. But we understand all too wel how self conscious;; or better yet affected most of us are. When I talk to my girl friends there is a constant subject of what we don't like about our bodies. who ever knew that one single person could pertain more problems than Windows Vista? And why complain? We are all different and special in our own ways. Why not flaunt what we have and hide what we dont? or why hide it?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
have you ever noticed that through these few years which can hold some of the best or worst times that Urban Dictionary is WAY better than the regular dictionary? I thought so too.
snowboarding
One of the greatest sports ever invented. Combines some of the most amazing aspects of nature with high speed, technical skill and bliss.
^^ Straight from Urban Dictionary.
And do you know what snowboarding leads to?
My blissful haven of complete perfection yet many mistakes and more defiances of nature than space. High Cascade.
well i guess im done. peaceout dude;;
until next time.
–adjective
1. excessively aware of being observed by others.
2. conscious of oneself or one's own being.
One word. Three syllables. 15 letters. self conscious may seem insignificant to most people; but to a large population of the high school beings (especially girls) it describes the norm.
synonyms for this strong yet sophisticated piece of the english language?
affected; anxious; artificial; awkward; bashful; uncomfortable; nervous; embaressed.
thats not even half of the words. now look at the synonyms;; does that really describe the girls and guys that we encounter each day as we venture into the unknown and tackle daily obstacles at the jungle currently known as South County High School? I didn't think so. But we understand all too wel how self conscious;; or better yet affected most of us are. When I talk to my girl friends there is a constant subject of what we don't like about our bodies. who ever knew that one single person could pertain more problems than Windows Vista? And why complain? We are all different and special in our own ways. Why not flaunt what we have and hide what we dont? or why hide it?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
have you ever noticed that through these few years which can hold some of the best or worst times that Urban Dictionary is WAY better than the regular dictionary? I thought so too.
snowboarding
One of the greatest sports ever invented. Combines some of the most amazing aspects of nature with high speed, technical skill and bliss.
^^ Straight from Urban Dictionary.
And do you know what snowboarding leads to?
My blissful haven of complete perfection yet many mistakes and more defiances of nature than space. High Cascade.
well i guess im done. peaceout dude;;
until next time.
5.23.2009
it's funny how a single person, or better yet a single item of tiny proportions can give you such a strong vibe; impact; wave of complete feeling; that you cant help but smile and in my case; decide to write another blog to which most people wont even give the time to read. funny isnt it?
everyone in this world will leave thier own speecial mark where ever they go. especially high school. but isnt weird when you look at someone and you can somehow tell where they are going to be ten years after the graduate and leave this "pathetic excuse for a town" .? i guess thats what happens when you go to a school in which everyone knows everything about everyone and drama is more common than flip flops and texting.
but one thing that isnt too common is sunflowers. have you even just sat there and stared at one of these amazing gift from mother nature? its golden petals sit there but radiate as if shimmering brighter than the sun but dont blind you when you take a look. their long green stalks can grow enough to tower even the tallest of people but dont intimidate but instead force at least a smirk on even the unhappiest of people. their middles mix the golden petals; green stalks; and red pollen to come together as a peaceful end to this subtle yet moving flower. now many may think that i have gone insane from thinking that a sunflower can do so much;;
but the next time you come across one of these wonderful bringers of joy, take a moment or two to take in the absolute perfection that is a sunflower. it doesnt cause drama or annoy anyone. it just sits there and puts a grin on everyones face.
so i guess ive finished. im done. termino. until next time.
everyone in this world will leave thier own speecial mark where ever they go. especially high school. but isnt weird when you look at someone and you can somehow tell where they are going to be ten years after the graduate and leave this "pathetic excuse for a town" .? i guess thats what happens when you go to a school in which everyone knows everything about everyone and drama is more common than flip flops and texting.
but one thing that isnt too common is sunflowers. have you even just sat there and stared at one of these amazing gift from mother nature? its golden petals sit there but radiate as if shimmering brighter than the sun but dont blind you when you take a look. their long green stalks can grow enough to tower even the tallest of people but dont intimidate but instead force at least a smirk on even the unhappiest of people. their middles mix the golden petals; green stalks; and red pollen to come together as a peaceful end to this subtle yet moving flower. now many may think that i have gone insane from thinking that a sunflower can do so much;;
but the next time you come across one of these wonderful bringers of joy, take a moment or two to take in the absolute perfection that is a sunflower. it doesnt cause drama or annoy anyone. it just sits there and puts a grin on everyones face.
so i guess ive finished. im done. termino. until next time.
5.13.2009
i love kris allen. (: just putting that out there.
once you have sunk into what he's singing;; his total vibe surrounds you. its like a feeling of peace and tranquility. and his baby face?! GAWD. but today i was informed that i, too, am in possession of a baby face. i look younger that i actually am i guess? i am a young fourteen so can i really have a look of a thirteen year old? ever realized that once you turn a year old that the year younger seems just so immature?! funny how that works out. anyways;;
walking makes people feel better. or me at least. today my younger sister, aged a mere ten years old but containing more energy than a hundred thousand bouncing balls, went on a half an hour walk with my doggy. we ended up singing endless taylor swift songs, talking about how stupid boys are, hoping that kris allen wins, and realizing that make up is pointless. natural is better. (:
anywho. im happy.
the end. (:
once you have sunk into what he's singing;; his total vibe surrounds you. its like a feeling of peace and tranquility. and his baby face?! GAWD. but today i was informed that i, too, am in possession of a baby face. i look younger that i actually am i guess? i am a young fourteen so can i really have a look of a thirteen year old? ever realized that once you turn a year old that the year younger seems just so immature?! funny how that works out. anyways;;
walking makes people feel better. or me at least. today my younger sister, aged a mere ten years old but containing more energy than a hundred thousand bouncing balls, went on a half an hour walk with my doggy. we ended up singing endless taylor swift songs, talking about how stupid boys are, hoping that kris allen wins, and realizing that make up is pointless. natural is better. (:
anywho. im happy.
the end. (:
5.09.2009
shit-faced.
a word to describe a state of being in which you dont exactly know where you are, what youre doing, or how you got in your current state of being.
my problem? i am terrrible with this. not remember doing something that could seriously injure you is bad enough. but when you dont remember how much you drank and suddenly everyone around you thinks you have alcohol poisoning? yeah, NOT a good thing. not good AT ALL. but hey, i finally got to experience the thing that i was most excited about with high school: drinking parties.
too bad i pregamed four hours early. and too bad i drank on an empty stomach. and too bad i am a fucking lightweight. sometimes i really do wish i could just stop and i was the nieve girl that everyone thought was a sweetie pie. on the other hand, though, this is the lifestyle that most people love. crazy drunken nights. not remembering what happened. cleaning up and laughing about everything. meeting random people. its all good. right? wrong. when you almost get alcohol poisoning on your first party you need to s l o w d o w n .
but nothing much you can do now. i already have the next two weekends filled with drinking. perfect; huh?
the fact of the matter is, i really want to stop drinking. this way of life has swallowed me whole. and by suprise. i dont understand how you cope with all the insanity and every minute im thinknig about how i am going to have to work even harder to focus at school.
drinking at age fourteen? COME ON. thats not a good way to start. at all.
and this is not a good way to end a blog either.
but heres the bottom line:;:
as much as i would like to quit drinking...
im not going to be able to and im going to keep going
until at one point i am screeeched to a hault.
god speed to me.
a word to describe a state of being in which you dont exactly know where you are, what youre doing, or how you got in your current state of being.
my problem? i am terrrible with this. not remember doing something that could seriously injure you is bad enough. but when you dont remember how much you drank and suddenly everyone around you thinks you have alcohol poisoning? yeah, NOT a good thing. not good AT ALL. but hey, i finally got to experience the thing that i was most excited about with high school: drinking parties.
too bad i pregamed four hours early. and too bad i drank on an empty stomach. and too bad i am a fucking lightweight. sometimes i really do wish i could just stop and i was the nieve girl that everyone thought was a sweetie pie. on the other hand, though, this is the lifestyle that most people love. crazy drunken nights. not remembering what happened. cleaning up and laughing about everything. meeting random people. its all good. right? wrong. when you almost get alcohol poisoning on your first party you need to s l o w d o w n .
but nothing much you can do now. i already have the next two weekends filled with drinking. perfect; huh?
the fact of the matter is, i really want to stop drinking. this way of life has swallowed me whole. and by suprise. i dont understand how you cope with all the insanity and every minute im thinknig about how i am going to have to work even harder to focus at school.
drinking at age fourteen? COME ON. thats not a good way to start. at all.
and this is not a good way to end a blog either.
but heres the bottom line:;:
as much as i would like to quit drinking...
im not going to be able to and im going to keep going
until at one point i am screeeched to a hault.
god speed to me.
4.30.2009
Take all your dreams, Take all that's left to see
Write it down, sign your name, go ahead and leave
There's nothing left to loose.
my hair wont stay wavy. not fun. so the high cascade is at 57 days! the anticipation build up which i am experiencing right now is beyond anything you can imagine. the fact of the matter is, im not exactly happy with my life right now. i dont know, most people who look at it probably thinks its pretty good. editor position as a freshman. practically straight As. no braces. lots of friends. not exactly ugly.
all good right? you'd think. but i cant help but feel like somethings missing. i hate the area i live in. my school is basically a bunch of preppy girls. most of the guys are douches. im super unhappy with my body. my reputation sucks.
my perfect life?
living right by a mountain. a school where tons of people snowboard. where people just dont give a shit and are pretty chill but have school spirit. teachers allow music in class and homework is a minimum. and the people who arent preppy arent total weirdos.
sorry. but thats the problem im facing. i know i shouldnt complain. but i fear i have to.
stereo skyline. we the kings. all time low. mayday parade. the secret handshake. nevershout never.
^^^^^amazing bands. (:
wow. yeah, global warming is definitely coming. thats why the temperature dropped 30 DEGREES! its freeezing. oh well.
Lita's best friends were murdered about a week ago. She's coming to spend three weeks with us. im pretty exctied. its going to be pretty wicked with her around, ya know? but im worried about her.
gawd. dude you have no idea how much i want to be snowboarding right now.
oh. by the ways. guys suck in relationships. theyre fun for hookups and friends, but other than that... theyre useless. oh except for snowboarding. anywho, yeah. im done.
peace out dude.
so ive been thinking that, maybe baby.
ive been going a little crazy lately, yeah whatcha gonna do.
Write it down, sign your name, go ahead and leave
There's nothing left to loose.
my hair wont stay wavy. not fun. so the high cascade is at 57 days! the anticipation build up which i am experiencing right now is beyond anything you can imagine. the fact of the matter is, im not exactly happy with my life right now. i dont know, most people who look at it probably thinks its pretty good. editor position as a freshman. practically straight As. no braces. lots of friends. not exactly ugly.
all good right? you'd think. but i cant help but feel like somethings missing. i hate the area i live in. my school is basically a bunch of preppy girls. most of the guys are douches. im super unhappy with my body. my reputation sucks.
my perfect life?
living right by a mountain. a school where tons of people snowboard. where people just dont give a shit and are pretty chill but have school spirit. teachers allow music in class and homework is a minimum. and the people who arent preppy arent total weirdos.
sorry. but thats the problem im facing. i know i shouldnt complain. but i fear i have to.
stereo skyline. we the kings. all time low. mayday parade. the secret handshake. nevershout never.
^^^^^amazing bands. (:
wow. yeah, global warming is definitely coming. thats why the temperature dropped 30 DEGREES! its freeezing. oh well.
Lita's best friends were murdered about a week ago. She's coming to spend three weeks with us. im pretty exctied. its going to be pretty wicked with her around, ya know? but im worried about her.
gawd. dude you have no idea how much i want to be snowboarding right now.
oh. by the ways. guys suck in relationships. theyre fun for hookups and friends, but other than that... theyre useless. oh except for snowboarding. anywho, yeah. im done.
peace out dude.
so ive been thinking that, maybe baby.
ive been going a little crazy lately, yeah whatcha gonna do.
4.27.2009
hey. so i havent really written on this in a while. but the fact of matter is, i find that a blog is meant for the purpose of expressing your emotions when you most need it. quite frankly, though, i am not in the need of emotion expression. i feel pretty much subtle. and peaceful.
i guess i could vent about ONE thing even though i dont really find any reason for yelling or venting anymore. and that is,
if someone is doing something, there really is no reason for questioning/making fun of them. all that leads to is fighting and anger and depression.
and one more step back from world peace.
so lets change the world. one step at a time.
tomorrow, do something nice for one person.
or if you feel like being sarcastic or mean...
hold it back.
just be nice to a couple people...
perform an act of random kindness...
you could never imagine how far it could go.
i guess i could vent about ONE thing even though i dont really find any reason for yelling or venting anymore. and that is,
if someone is doing something, there really is no reason for questioning/making fun of them. all that leads to is fighting and anger and depression.
and one more step back from world peace.
so lets change the world. one step at a time.
tomorrow, do something nice for one person.
or if you feel like being sarcastic or mean...
hold it back.
just be nice to a couple people...
perform an act of random kindness...
you could never imagine how far it could go.
4.22.2009
4.19.2009
tell me where our time went
and if it was time well spent
.paramore.
yes, another couplet of song lyrics have entered into my blog. (you can almost TASTE the cliche-ness; huh?)
so my little tidbit of lyric has a reason in this totally pointless blog.
it is that as the days roll by and the year is starting to end;
my parents have made it more and more apparent that if i dont recieve straight A's;;
i am undoubtedly SCREWED. reason? the one subject which is holding me back;; is
quite possibly the most subject EVER. and i fear that recieving one of those shiny; golden; ticket to paradise- A's is next to impossible. If my past three quarter grades add up to become a 91.35;;
if the school board grows some brains and common sense and change our grades....
then i will EASILY have straight A's. yay.
so i guess now its just a working-guessing-hoping-waiting game huh?
Everybody trying to get away from this town,
yeah they don’t wanna rest they think it’s the best
If we get the hell right out of this town we will never rest
you can rest when your dead
Run away determined to stay have the night to keep her hangovers at bay
I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
oh, I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
How many days do you live your life?
How many ways can I live mine?
.hitthelights.
oh. just a little DYK for ya'll...
HIGH CASCADE COUNTDOWN = 68 DAYS.
(:
bring on the good stuff. ;D
and if it was time well spent
.paramore.
yes, another couplet of song lyrics have entered into my blog. (you can almost TASTE the cliche-ness; huh?)
anyways. anywho. anyhow.
im on here typing up a blog at a mere 9:30 in the A.M. I have a strong feeling that most people in this world are sleeping;; but then again;; those people are missing out on some of the greatest things that happen in the morning. But to tell you the truth; on this morning there is nothing more than the sharpness of a parents voice and the bleakness of the sky crying out in depression for no reason. Ever felt like the weather is affected my your mood? Because this morning, when i woke up i was happy as can be. but now after i found out that one of my good friend's dad has cancer; the sky has turned a dismal dark and i fear that this is the beginning of another set of rollercoaster rides which, in turn, will lead me to spiral downward because of endless drama and fights. as much as i have that gut feeling eating me up inside;
i pray it isnt true.
so my little tidbit of lyric has a reason in this totally pointless blog.
it is that as the days roll by and the year is starting to end;
my parents have made it more and more apparent that if i dont recieve straight A's;;
i am undoubtedly SCREWED. reason? the one subject which is holding me back;; is
quite possibly the most subject EVER. and i fear that recieving one of those shiny; golden; ticket to paradise- A's is next to impossible. If my past three quarter grades add up to become a 91.35;;
how; may i ask; am i supposed to get good enough grades on fourth quarter and my final exam to make that grade climb the ladder a length 2.65 points?!
i do believe we need a miracle.
BUTBUTBUT;if the school board grows some brains and common sense and change our grades....
then i will EASILY have straight A's. yay.
so i guess now its just a working-guessing-hoping-waiting game huh?
now; for addressing the CRAZY time i call friday night. can you say drinking?!
gosh. and then theres the whole;; "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
and in fact; i wasnt thinking. but hey;; i might not rememeber much; but it was fun.
that is kind of what happens when high school freshmen are stuck in a place like
fairfax county
oh well. you only live once; so live it right.
.........am i right?
or am i just being anothe immature freshman who might be throwing away her whole future because shes too interesting in getting drunk to focus on getting A's and being an editor?
Everybody trying to get away from this town,
yeah they don’t wanna rest they think it’s the best
If we get the hell right out of this town we will never rest
you can rest when your dead
Run away determined to stay have the night to keep her hangovers at bay
I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
oh, I shouldn’t go but I lost my judgment
How many days do you live your life?
How many ways can I live mine?
.hitthelights.
oh. just a little DYK for ya'll...
HIGH CASCADE COUNTDOWN = 68 DAYS.
(:
bring on the good stuff. ;D
4.13.2009
church
–noun
1. a building for public Christian worship.
Yup. I am one of the many thousands who has ever attended one of these houses in which we bow our heads and pray to our Lord. our God. But there are so many individuals in this world who worship a different lord; or better yet; choose to not believe. Now I’m getting away from the fact of why I googled the vague yet specific word of church.
So have you ever been to a church? Or maybe any place in which you worship? If you have or even if you haven’t, I am sure you will understand what I am about to attempt to explain with my body and mind; aged fourteen short years.
At church; there is a priest. This priest usually preaches to the people;; mostly about advice and what not. Now how totally hypocritical would it be if that priest went one hundred and fifty percent against what he said? Pretty bad; huh? I have a funny feeling that church would be losing members faster than a naked guy, who just found his girlfriend’s father is home, can pull up his pants. (considering I am talking about church; I don’t think that was the best choice of words. But hey; we all make mistakes).
The point I am trying so hard to somehow mark on everyones mind who might have the disfortune of fixing their eyes on this deceitful blog is;
That if you are going to say something, stick to your word.
And that, my friend, is something I have not been able to accomplish. I pride myself on someone of peace who wants to think things through; talk things out; and avoid fighting at all costs. But what did I do today? I became a hypocritical priest and acted without thinking. I posted a blog completely trashing someone who was basically innocent. Even worse? I called him and texted him; calling him pathetic. What type of disgraceful; useless piece of skin and bones am I? I didn’t even give him a chance to speak his mind. and I didn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt and listen.
now how much of a peaceful hippie pacifist does that sound like?
Not much; huh? Yeah. I didn’t think so either. So here I am; writing everything that pops into my head as I run through the disfortunate events that I had the tragic inconvenience of starting by the simple act of not caring or listening.
Remember how I said I always started drama without understanding how I could end up causing the chain effect of outraged people starting rumor after rumor of hurtful words that would in turn account for the negative moods of students all through the hallways? well I just figured it out.
I haven’t been truthful to anything I preach to others. Scratch that. I have been truthful; but only to a select few things. Those including? Veganism. It’s a tough thing to do; but when you know that one of your best friends is there with you to talk about it; you find a way to cope.
cope
verb, coped, cop⋅ing.
1. to struggle or deal, esp. on fairly even terms or with some degree of success.
I fear that in this day and age; many high school students are learning to; or attempting to cope with the hurdles and obstacles that life is throwing out there. My current “cope”? Journalism. College. Because of a small achievement in a single academic elective; my parents have started to plan out my whole life. Its being p l a n n e d .
But where did my dream go? My dream ofpossibly skipping college; snowboarding through my young years; working a minimum wage job; getting good; and then proving to everyone that a girl, from a town where snowboarding isn’t exactly “the norm”, can become a major snowboarder. Yeah; I bet you haven’t heard that before. That’s because most people;; well not really anyone;; knew my real dream.
Reason? I mean hey; it sounds kind of stupid coming from an almost fifteen year old. It sounds even stupider when her writing skills could quite possibly land her a high paying job in the field of journalism or book writing.
Do you understand my cope now? Okay; so now whoever you may be; youre probably thinking…
“dude. JOURNALISM. Flaunt what you got; and you got writing.”
But haven’t you EVER had something that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Everytime you think about it too much you have to stop because its too much for you to handle. Knowing that something you’ve been looking for your whole life is so close.
Oh well; that’s what high school is about right? Finding yourself; understanding your dream. Figuring out what is do-able and what isn’t. And that; everybody; is my exact position;
my current
growing pains
and most importantly that is
a take on life from a not so secret teenager
–noun
1. a building for public Christian worship.
Yup. I am one of the many thousands who has ever attended one of these houses in which we bow our heads and pray to our Lord. our God. But there are so many individuals in this world who worship a different lord; or better yet; choose to not believe. Now I’m getting away from the fact of why I googled the vague yet specific word of church.
So have you ever been to a church? Or maybe any place in which you worship? If you have or even if you haven’t, I am sure you will understand what I am about to attempt to explain with my body and mind; aged fourteen short years.
At church; there is a priest. This priest usually preaches to the people;; mostly about advice and what not. Now how totally hypocritical would it be if that priest went one hundred and fifty percent against what he said? Pretty bad; huh? I have a funny feeling that church would be losing members faster than a naked guy, who just found his girlfriend’s father is home, can pull up his pants. (considering I am talking about church; I don’t think that was the best choice of words. But hey; we all make mistakes).
The point I am trying so hard to somehow mark on everyones mind who might have the disfortune of fixing their eyes on this deceitful blog is;
That if you are going to say something, stick to your word.
And that, my friend, is something I have not been able to accomplish. I pride myself on someone of peace who wants to think things through; talk things out; and avoid fighting at all costs. But what did I do today? I became a hypocritical priest and acted without thinking. I posted a blog completely trashing someone who was basically innocent. Even worse? I called him and texted him; calling him pathetic. What type of disgraceful; useless piece of skin and bones am I? I didn’t even give him a chance to speak his mind. and I didn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt and listen.
now how much of a peaceful hippie pacifist does that sound like?
Not much; huh? Yeah. I didn’t think so either. So here I am; writing everything that pops into my head as I run through the disfortunate events that I had the tragic inconvenience of starting by the simple act of not caring or listening.
Remember how I said I always started drama without understanding how I could end up causing the chain effect of outraged people starting rumor after rumor of hurtful words that would in turn account for the negative moods of students all through the hallways? well I just figured it out.
I haven’t been truthful to anything I preach to others. Scratch that. I have been truthful; but only to a select few things. Those including? Veganism. It’s a tough thing to do; but when you know that one of your best friends is there with you to talk about it; you find a way to cope.
cope
verb, coped, cop⋅ing.
1. to struggle or deal, esp. on fairly even terms or with some degree of success.
I fear that in this day and age; many high school students are learning to; or attempting to cope with the hurdles and obstacles that life is throwing out there. My current “cope”? Journalism. College. Because of a small achievement in a single academic elective; my parents have started to plan out my whole life. Its being p l a n n e d .
But where did my dream go? My dream of
Reason? I mean hey; it sounds kind of stupid coming from an almost fifteen year old. It sounds even stupider when her writing skills could quite possibly land her a high paying job in the field of journalism or book writing.
Do you understand my cope now? Okay; so now whoever you may be; youre probably thinking…
“dude. JOURNALISM. Flaunt what you got; and you got writing.”
But haven’t you EVER had something that you can’t go a day without thinking about? Everytime you think about it too much you have to stop because its too much for you to handle. Knowing that something you’ve been looking for your whole life is so close.
Oh well; that’s what high school is about right? Finding yourself; understanding your dream. Figuring out what is do-able and what isn’t. And that; everybody; is my exact position;
my current
growing pains
and most importantly that is
a take on life from a not so secret teenager
the single fact that i love writing on this blog so much is pretty pathetic; huh? oh well. so a little update. my life is climbing; like a roller coaster. and let me tell you, my heart is beating just a fast as if i was staring at the metal track before me holding the passangers existence by the sheer theory of magnetism and engineering.
but hey; why look on the dreary side of life when there is the totally bright and amazing side of life that makes you smile every minute and make you think. "hell yes. i love my life."
so now to the reason i decided to type a string of words that together make sense and form this crazy thing we call a blog.
anywho;
not to put a damper on anyones day. but personally; i think two specific people are quite possibly the most pathetic people whom i have ever come into contact with. they are COMPLETE jerks; perverts; creepers; any form of those words. yes; they are. and though many would love to be able topunch them in the face to start a chain effect of beatings upon; that is regretably not the right thing to do.
as you know; i am a pacifist. and thus i strongly believe in the refrainment of any sort of violence. but that doesnt change what they did to her. it was terrible; and it would put a smile on my face to know that they went to jail for what they did.
what, may you ask, did they do that was so treacherous? *chuckle* well youll just have to find out.; huh?
but hey; why look on the dreary side of life when there is the totally bright and amazing side of life that makes you smile every minute and make you think. "hell yes. i love my life."
so now to the reason i decided to type a string of words that together make sense and form this crazy thing we call a blog.
anywho;
not to put a damper on anyones day. but personally; i think two specific people are quite possibly the most pathetic people whom i have ever come into contact with. they are COMPLETE jerks; perverts; creepers; any form of those words. yes; they are. and though many would love to be able to
as you know; i am a pacifist. and thus i strongly believe in the refrainment of any sort of violence. but that doesnt change what they did to her. it was terrible; and it would put a smile on my face to know that they went to jail for what they did.
what, may you ask, did they do that was so treacherous? *chuckle* well youll just have to find out.; huh?
4.10.2009
its funny.
it funny how a day can be so utterly amazing when it is barely 8 in the morning. its funny how suddenly everything seems to be perfect again. its funny how one person can say a few words strung together by the sound of their voice and its tint of complimentary tone makes you feel like youre on top of the world and everything youve been working for has started to pay off. how everyone always doubted you but one single person made you believe again. its funny how a change of hair color and weather can put so much confidence back into ones lungs; though it probably never left there.
just a small tidbit to think about...
and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
.relientk.
just a small tidbit to think about...
and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
.relientk.
4.02.2009
I'm so sick of,watching while the minutes pass,as I go nowhere,and this is my reaction,to everything I fear,'cause I've been going crazy,I don't want to waste another minute here.
these words have been running through my head enough times to make anyone besides me. Yet to me they speak out in a way that makes me realize I am not as different as i believe myself to be. I am one of what. 6 billion people? There are so many of us in the world that you really have to do something spectacular to get noticed. a.k.a. changing the world. Which is what i plan to do in the near future. the question? how. How am i supposed to make a big enough impact with my existence that the world will refrain from the violence and war which exists in the world. the violence that people take part in daily. in too many ways to count. some; unwillingly. ever heard of Uganda? Child Soldiers? how about domestic abuse? How about just cruelty of a single person towards another induvidual. a single phrase can cause someone to breakdown and cry. what would you think if you realized that the person who caused this is you? I feel like this all the time. I cause drama and i do not understand how.
but enough with my ranting. back to the reason i decided to write on this dreary; bleak; start of a hopefully memorable spring break.
if you do not already know; ALL TIME LOW is my all time favorite band. And they have just pre-released a new song. Weightless. It is off their new album "Nothing Personal". I do believe it could be pure gold. The way that their songs are composed just tugs at your heart. I don't actually know why i am in love with them so much. but i am. i really dislike all that rap music. It annoys me. wait; rewind . It doesnt acutally straight-up annoy me. It just... i dont have words for it. For once I am a speechless blob. To tell you the truth; i have been speechless more than once in this past week. i am without the ability to put words to lip and speak them through this speech-impediment infested; accent occupied; fast talking; mouth.
well i am delighted that spring break is here. i have many plans to fulfill. what are those plans, you ask?
1. baking 15 loaves of bread for a science project
2. soccer practice.
3. sleepovers
4. intoxicants; hookahs; "night spots"
and well there is one more thing on my agenda.;; a bromidic; boring; dull; tedious activity in which i must take part...
HOMEWORK
lets face it. we must turn to the unpleasant suprise hiding behind door number 5. at least 3 hours of writing; typing; and studying.
In the end; though; it will all pay off. at the end of the year when i am riding that 4.0 GPA my parents will be tickled pink. on cloud nine. overjoyed. exubberated. to put it plainly; they will be happy. and whats better? I will recieve a bonus on my credit card when i FINALLY travel to the promised land of blissful; white; heaven. High Cascade. Yes; I am constantly talking about it. The one place I think about daily. The land of summer snowboarding. and only snowboarding. No treachurous; aggrivating skiiers. Now I am not saying that if you ski I would be happier if you jumped off a cliff. goodness no. I am just saying that if you ski; dont come with me. Skiiers on the slope annoy me beyond belief; they cant go straight down and they think they can be all bamf with their tricks in the park. No. not happening; the park is for snowboarders. got it? good.
One more thing I forgot about high cascade; guys. lots of hot guys. snowboarders are always totally chill guys that are in shape and have amazing hair. what more could i ask for? its like dreamland for me. que the winking face. on the topic of guys....
i need advice. what do you do when you like someone. but you cant. like theyre your friend and if they knew; your whole friendship would go down the drain? I dont know; and i dont want to know. Because my current solution to this problem is that i am going to forget i like him. after all; i dont really care. im trying to be more laid-back.
so just let it roll our time is fleeting so we take control
these words have been running through my head enough times to make anyone besides me. Yet to me they speak out in a way that makes me realize I am not as different as i believe myself to be. I am one of what. 6 billion people? There are so many of us in the world that you really have to do something spectacular to get noticed. a.k.a. changing the world. Which is what i plan to do in the near future. the question? how. How am i supposed to make a big enough impact with my existence that the world will refrain from the violence and war which exists in the world. the violence that people take part in daily. in too many ways to count. some; unwillingly. ever heard of Uganda? Child Soldiers? how about domestic abuse? How about just cruelty of a single person towards another induvidual. a single phrase can cause someone to breakdown and cry. what would you think if you realized that the person who caused this is you? I feel like this all the time. I cause drama and i do not understand how.
but enough with my ranting. back to the reason i decided to write on this dreary; bleak; start of a hopefully memorable spring break.
if you do not already know; ALL TIME LOW is my all time favorite band. And they have just pre-released a new song. Weightless. It is off their new album "Nothing Personal". I do believe it could be pure gold. The way that their songs are composed just tugs at your heart. I don't actually know why i am in love with them so much. but i am. i really dislike all that rap music. It annoys me. wait; rewind . It doesnt acutally straight-up annoy me. It just... i dont have words for it. For once I am a speechless blob. To tell you the truth; i have been speechless more than once in this past week. i am without the ability to put words to lip and speak them through this speech-impediment infested; accent occupied; fast talking; mouth.
well i am delighted that spring break is here. i have many plans to fulfill. what are those plans, you ask?
1. baking 15 loaves of bread for a science project
2. soccer practice.
3. sleepovers
4. intoxicants; hookahs; "night spots"
and well there is one more thing on my agenda.;; a bromidic; boring; dull; tedious activity in which i must take part...
lets face it. we must turn to the unpleasant suprise hiding behind door number 5. at least 3 hours of writing; typing; and studying.
In the end; though; it will all pay off. at the end of the year when i am riding that 4.0 GPA my parents will be tickled pink. on cloud nine. overjoyed. exubberated. to put it plainly; they will be happy. and whats better? I will recieve a bonus on my credit card when i FINALLY travel to the promised land of blissful; white; heaven. High Cascade. Yes; I am constantly talking about it. The one place I think about daily. The land of summer snowboarding. and only snowboarding. No treachurous; aggrivating skiiers. Now I am not saying that if you ski I would be happier if you jumped off a cliff. goodness no. I am just saying that if you ski; dont come with me. Skiiers on the slope annoy me beyond belief; they cant go straight down and they think they can be all bamf with their tricks in the park. No. not happening; the park is for snowboarders. got it? good.
One more thing I forgot about high cascade; guys. lots of hot guys. snowboarders are always totally chill guys that are in shape and have amazing hair. what more could i ask for? its like dreamland for me. que the winking face. on the topic of guys....
i need advice. what do you do when you like someone. but you cant. like theyre your friend and if they knew; your whole friendship would go down the drain? I dont know; and i dont want to know. Because my current solution to this problem is that i am going to forget i like him. after all; i dont really care. im trying to be more laid-back.
so just let it roll our time is fleeting so we take control
3.24.2009
so here we are;;
brought together by this crazy thing we call
life.
and theres nothing we can do about it but ride the current. face it, if we ever try to be different all we end up with is a mouthful of salt water that burns your throat; scolding you for disobeying. All there is to do is secretly be unique. outwardly, we all are pretty much the same. And at this moment in time;; the people around me are. we are a bunch of high school students just trying to get through the day. as many know, i, on a daily basis, try to stand out; be different; voice my opinion. and where has that gotten me? Absolutley no where.
It has gotten me to the bottom of the deep blue sea. The only way out? A piece of internet blogging which will most likely be read by no one.; or;; by people who will surely laugh in my face for throwing all of this out there. You can say i dont show my feelings; and that i sometimes am a little too forward; or maybe a little too held back. Theres many words which can be used to describe my pointless existence.;; maybe i wasnt made to live the life the way i am.
Who knows; i have been called quite possibly every name under the sun. and i always "know a guy" and if you wanna play games with my feelings. Well too bad; i already constantly do that. The worst part is; the things i want to talk about the most; i bottle up. I just bottle them up inside until one day i break down over the smallest thing and i look like a immature 5 year old.
But you know, i dont mind that. It is how ive learned to cope with life. The other way is too try to make a difference in the world. A little bit like the whole "im a bad person, so i am going to help someone" swing.
Ive taken a path in life. scratch that. I am trying to figure out which path to take in life. And right now; I am leaning towards the whole; save the planet path. The hippie-pacifist-vegan vibe has totally swallowed me whole and is taking me for one heck of a ridee.
I have all my dreams and I have planned out my whole life. I need a plan; constantly. Thats one thing that most people do not know about me. I plan out what I am going to talk about; and how its going to work out. Because really? I dont like not knowing what is coming next. It scares the living daylights out of me.
another fear? People who are mad at me. When someone is mad at me;; and i am forced to confront them my heart pounds hard;; as if it was in an insane asylum. pretty crazy huh? the girl who says anything is constantly scared.
but hey;
thats life for ya.
brought together by this crazy thing we call
life.
and theres nothing we can do about it but ride the current. face it, if we ever try to be different all we end up with is a mouthful of salt water that burns your throat; scolding you for disobeying. All there is to do is secretly be unique. outwardly, we all are pretty much the same. And at this moment in time;; the people around me are. we are a bunch of high school students just trying to get through the day. as many know, i, on a daily basis, try to stand out; be different; voice my opinion. and where has that gotten me? Absolutley no where.
It has gotten me to the bottom of the deep blue sea. The only way out? A piece of internet blogging which will most likely be read by no one.; or;; by people who will surely laugh in my face for throwing all of this out there. You can say i dont show my feelings; and that i sometimes am a little too forward; or maybe a little too held back. Theres many words which can be used to describe my pointless existence.;; maybe i wasnt made to live the life the way i am.
Who knows; i have been called quite possibly every name under the sun. and i always "know a guy" and if you wanna play games with my feelings. Well too bad; i already constantly do that. The worst part is; the things i want to talk about the most; i bottle up. I just bottle them up inside until one day i break down over the smallest thing and i look like a immature 5 year old.
But you know, i dont mind that. It is how ive learned to cope with life. The other way is too try to make a difference in the world. A little bit like the whole "im a bad person, so i am going to help someone" swing.
I have all my dreams and I have planned out my whole life. I need a plan; constantly. Thats one thing that most people do not know about me. I plan out what I am going to talk about; and how its going to work out. Because really? I dont like not knowing what is coming next. It scares the living daylights out of me.
another fear? People who are mad at me. When someone is mad at me;; and i am forced to confront them my heart pounds hard;; as if it was in an insane asylum. pretty crazy huh? the girl who says anything is constantly scared.
but hey;
thats life for ya.
3.19.2009
life?
life is full of such suprises. and you always try to be prepared;;
but then youre thrown a curve ball and it knocks the wind out of you.
you then get back up and feel like youre just SO prepared
and that you know what is going to come next. but you never do;;
do you?
I just dont know anymore.
so many people these days are just so insanely addicted to drama.
its like a new drug or something.
CAUTION:;; TAKING WILL TURN YOU INTO A BITCH.
*cough* i mean, uh, a not very nice person. *cough*
yup;; i can imagine the packaging and pill and
the whole schebanggg right now.
So l e t s l i v e in this day I
know your dying to say it
lets just live in this moment and
pretend like we own it
3.12.2009
Sisterr; SISTER
I have been thinking;
is it possible for someone to look just like you
when you were their age?
My sister and I have five years in age difference.
But I swearr;
we could be twins but without being the same age.
sure; she is skinnier than me. But other than that;;
we could deff pass off as 5 year apart twins
just something to think about.
Who cares if I sound stupid...
This is a blog; rightt?
3.11.2009
Hello?
Yo; Hey; Bonjour; Hola.
However you greet someone;;
I'm trying to accomplish it.
This blog, I guess, will give you a look into my life.
Pretty weird, huh? I think so. Complete strangers are reading what another stranger has to say about her tiny corner of the universe. They get to view life from their perspective. How much weirder would it be, if a friend read this? There is no use thinking about the maybes. I might as well just get on with it, huh?
Anyways. My name is Phoebee. I guess you could say I am a hippie. I believe in peace and trying to save the world. And I won't let you forget it. I am one of the most open people. in the world. I think that the government has done a crappy job with important issues but I am completely against politics. I am in love with snowboarding. and journalism (Que the strong opinion)
Right now, though, I have been participating in what you might call "constructive thinking"? I keep thinking about how I have been spending my freshman year at my new school. The result? Not something I want to think about. Here's a few words to express my year so far.
fuckedup.dead.amazing.mistakes.boyfriends.toofar.crying.laughing.losingsomething.
so yeah. How's that for a year? Translation in a nutshell? Boyfriends, making out, 4th base, nightmares about childhood, new friends, getting corrupted, and just loving life.
So for now, that is all i have to say. except for this;;
a poem I had to write for English class:
Peace is never achieved without a fight
But persevering changes the planet
It bring happiness and harmony, right?
And in turn, contagious;; I bet.
Fear of attack if conquered from this
and soon death and [violence] will decrease
Hippies and pacifists cannot resist
Suns and flowers are always with peace
The icon, the image, we cannot drop
With guilty hearts;; following us around
Do you know how I feel when it all stops?
Hitting and anger;; goodness never found.
But no matter, it'll always be there
Peace; the worlds best vibe, as subtle as air.
However you greet someone;;
I'm trying to accomplish it.
This blog, I guess, will give you a look into my life.
Pretty weird, huh? I think so. Complete strangers are reading what another stranger has to say about her tiny corner of the universe. They get to view life from their perspective. How much weirder would it be, if a friend read this? There is no use thinking about the maybes. I might as well just get on with it, huh?
Anyways. My name is Phoebee. I guess you could say I am a hippie. I believe in peace and trying to save the world. And I won't let you forget it. I am one of the most open people. in the world. I think that the government has done a crappy job with important issues but I am completely against politics. I am in love with snowboarding. and journalism (Que the strong opinion)
Right now, though, I have been participating in what you might call "constructive thinking"? I keep thinking about how I have been spending my freshman year at my new school. The result? Not something I want to think about. Here's a few words to express my year so far.
fuckedup.dead.amazing.mistakes.boyfriends.toofar.crying.laughing.losingsomething.
so yeah. How's that for a year? Translation in a nutshell? Boyfriends, making out, 4th base, nightmares about childhood, new friends, getting corrupted, and just loving life.
So for now, that is all i have to say. except for this;;
a poem I had to write for English class:
Peace is never achieved without a fight
But persevering changes the planet
It bring happiness and harmony, right?
And in turn, contagious;; I bet.
Fear of attack if conquered from this
and soon death and [violence] will decrease
Hippies and pacifists cannot resist
Suns and flowers are always with peace
The icon, the image, we cannot drop
With guilty hearts;; following us around
Do you know how I feel when it all stops?
Hitting and anger;; goodness never found.
But no matter, it'll always be there
Peace; the worlds best vibe, as subtle as air.
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